Don't Mess with the Fuzz
by EnD-Of-OrDeR
Summary: I suck at summaries. When a mishap changes members of section 9 into...animals. Its Tougusa's job to find a cure. Just watch where you step, Togusa! Just read and see.
1. How Did this Happen?

Don't Mess with the Fuzz

Aramaki stared down at the purple panther that was pacing angrly around the room. "How exactly did this happen?"

Togusa shifted his feet "Well, chief, it was kinda odd." He looked at the large black hawk perched on the couch back and the big brown dog curled up on the couch.

"Togusa, how did they get turned into animals." Aramaki asked once again.

"Well, it happened like this……"

Major Motoko Kusanagi leaned against the wall, gun ready, She activated the therm-opitc camouflage and turned the comer. She made no sound at all, silent as a panther stalking is prey.

_All clear_

_Ok, Time for the party._ Batou said over the cyberbrain connection. He got up from his sitting spot and disengaged his camouflage.

Saito felt out of place in this position. He was a sniper not a ground soldier! But that didn't mean he couldn't hold his own. Once the alarm was triggered he ran down the hall shooting with precision and the guards that never seemed to stop. He just kept shooting their heads with the precision of a hawk. Up ahead he saw Batou just gunning them down, like a clumsy dog.

Suddenly they started to drop as if hit by some invisible force. When all the guards were lying in their own blood the invisible force revealed its self to be none other then Major. "Took you long enough." Batou jokingly complained.

"Then you could have just handled it your self." She casually said and she walked past them. "The passage should be right…" She felt along the wall "here." She pressed the wall and a panel turned around.

"How cliché." Saito said with a slight 'heh'.

Major took a cord from the back of her neck and attached it to the plug in the panel "Hmm, This should be easy…." Her gaze turned vacant and unfocused as she hacked the barriers. In a couple of minutes a door slid open to reveal a room of files. "There." Major unhooked the cord and it slid back into her neck. "Careful, we don't know what's in here." She cautioned.

The three of them crept into the room, guns ready. Batou relaxed a little "Eh, it seems ok." He lowered his gun and examined the room. It was full of files and data. A small sound made them jump and aim at a gap between boxes at a….little kitten?

"Awww, its just a little kitty." Batou said. He tried to coax the cat over.

"Batou…" Major said with warning in her voice. The little kitten crawled out. It was all skin and bones. Starved like it had been locked away in the room.

"Poor cat." Saito muttered.

_How's it going?_ Togusa's voice over the connections in their cyber brains startled them.

_Were getting out soon, we got into the room. _Batou responded. _Hey want a cat?_

_Batou quit playing around!_ Major broke into the conversation.

"Shesh." Batou said out loud. "All right, what do we need?" He glanced down at the little poor kitten. He reached over to it slowly, he got his hand close to it when.. "THE LITTLE DEVIL!!" Batou swug his arm up, the kitten was attached to his arm with its little claws. He moved franticly from the shock and smashed into a case knocking it over.

"Batou! I told you-" Major stopped mid sentence as a blue gas crept up from the fallen case. _Don't take another breath_

It was too late though, Batou and Saito were coughing and hacking. Major too held back coughs. What ever the gas was it took effect fast. They fell to the ground.

_You guys ok?_ Togusa tried to contact them but there was no response. He muttered a word as he got his trusty old revolver and rushed out the door into the building.

"That's what they said happened." Togusa finished the story. "Major told me before she changed into the panther. Batou is the dog, and Saito is the hawk."

"Hmm. Why are you not effected?"

" Guess its my minimal cyberization." Togusa shrugged. He glanced again at the black hawk perched on the couch edge. "How do we get them back?"

"You and Ishikawa can figure that out." Aramaki glanced at the hawk too and sighed "I need my team back." The hawk spread its wings and flew up, A large glob of bird droppings fell and hit the couch. "But they can't stay here!"

Togusa almost knew what was coming next.

"Your daughter likes animals, correct? They will stay with you then."

"But sir, she's…." Togusa just shut up, He knew the decision was final.

It WAS final. Togusa was about to be running a zoo. Poor guy.

* * *

OK that was my first attempt at a Ghost in the Shell fic so please go easy. But I like criticisim! It helps me improve! The next one will be better, (I hope) the tittle will be 'KITTY!'

(If you didn't figure it out, Major is the purple panther) Ok, I thinks thats all I have to say. Please Reveiw so I acctually put the second chapter up!


	2. KITTY!

Don't Mess with the Fuzz Chapter Two

"KITTY!!"

Togusa sighed as he dialed the number on his phone. He looked over at the animals he had to take home. 'Major' was sitting calmly, her tail flicked back and forth like she was irritated…or about to maul something. 'Batou' sat staring at Togusa, his tail was wagging and he was drooling from his open mouth. 'Saito' was calmly gliding around. Togusa held a calm composure when he heard his wife answer the phone. "Uh, Hi honey…I have a surprise when I get home tonight!…no it's a big one, I promise. Yeah, Ritoru can see it, I bet she'd love it! Ok see you in a few minutes, Karei, love you." Togusa hung up the phone and sighed of relief. "That's over, just wish I didn't have to trick her…" Something hitting his hand made him look down. 'Batou' was pushing his hand up with his nose and whining. "Gee, you must think like an animal too now." So he petted 'Batou's' head. "Its kind of weird thinking of all of you as your former selves…" He moved then looked at his car.

The first challenge had arose. How do you get a panther, dog and hawk into a car together with out them killing each other. He prayed they still had human senses. "Here we go…" As soon as he opened the door Batou ran in and sat shotgun, his tail wagging and a glob of drool coming from his mouth. "Alright big guy, that's fine, don't want to be in the back with scary Major?" That was easy.

Next was the one that could maul him to itty-bitty pieces and eat him. Yes it was the now even more scary and cat-like Major. Yet again he prayed they had human minds still. He slowly approached the large cat. It stretched and yawned. Major eyed him with suspicion she got up and started to pace around him. Togusa froze, this was freaking him out…"G-Good kitty." He stammered. Major continued to pace, giant paws padding silently on the pavement. The she stopped, the tail went back to flicking back and forth. Togusa reached out his hand and she stared coldly at him, he moved closer until his hand reached her head. She stayed still as he petted her head. "Ok…I'm petting the Major…weird." He said out loud. (He really needs to stop talking to himself!). A loud purr rose up and Major tilted her head to the side. Just like a big kitty cat. He slowly moved back towards the car. The dark purple panther saw where he was going and she silently padded to the car and jumped in. Togusa relaxed once again. Only one more to go.

A yelp brought his attention back to the car. Batou sat in the passenger's seat, only now her was cringing from the big cat. "Haha, better stay away from her, she's got real claws now" He couldn't stop from laughing at the situation. Major was a panther, Batou was a big, drooling dog, and Saito was a pooping hawk…speaking of hawks. Togusa regained composure and scanned the area for the large bird and spotted him perched on a car, cleaning his feathers. He slowly and as silently as he could snuck up on Saito. The hawk continued to clean himself until Togusa was getting ready to lunge. He took off and flew around in a panic. Togusa saw his chance and he chased the bird to the car. Once close he managed, somehow to grab the bird and pin him down. Doing as he had seen in countless animal shows he tore a piece of his shirt off and wrapped it around the thrashing hawks head. "That should handle him." He picked up the now calm bird and got in the car. Mission complete. He thought with satisfaction.

The ride to the apartment building Togusa lived at was thankfully good. Only problem was Togusa had to pull Batou's head out of the window so oncoming traffic wouldn't decapitate his partner. He pulled into the garage. Once the car was parked he relaxed. _All I need to do is get up the elevator then I'm home…._he thought. Then he remembered a BIG problem. _Elevator, apartments, no animals allowed._ He slammed his head on the steering wheel and the horn echoed across the garage. It also startled the animals. They woke up from the lull of a moving car and started to move around. "Stupid, stupid me!" He got out and walked around the car, trying to figure out what to do. _it'll be easy to get Saito up, he can just fly, Batou and Major are the problems._ There was another yelp and Togusa threw the door open for a scared Batou to dart out. The panther was hissing and baring her fangs. _Those two can't be together._ He thought. The got back to the task at hand. Trying to figure out how to sneak them up. An idea hit him, he could say they were big stuffed animals for Ritoru, his daughter!

He got back into the car and turned to face all of the animals "Ok, If you still have sense, listen to me please." He said. "If you want to stay inside tonight then you need to work with me." Major looked up with a look of mild interest. Batou just wagged his tail and slobbered. Togusa removed the cover from Saito's head, the bird looked around and stayed relaxed. The calm actions of the animals reassured him. "I need you to pretend to be stuffed animals." He held Saito up "I need you to fly up to the third window on the third floor, ok, three three." He said. Saito looked at him and tilted his head. "Three, three." He then turned his attention the others. "I need you two to stay as still and quiet as you can as I take you up ok?" He was starting to think that maybe their minds were still normal "Can you understand me?" He tested his thought out. The animals didn't react. " Do you understand that you need to act like stuffed animals?" Batou tilted his head and barked twice. Major simply gave him a mixed look.

He got out of the car, first thing he did was let Saito go. The hawk obediently flew up. Major padded up and sat beside him staring up at the flying hawk. Togusa turned and looked at Major. They made eye contact and stare at each other for a couple of minutes. He reached down and tried to pick her up. Ever wonder how heavy a full grown panther is? The answer is HEAVY! He struggled to pick her up. "Major, you should lose some weight." He said to the panther. She turned into dead weight as she relaxed and just looked like a big stuffed animal. Batou walked over and whined. "Hey, big guy, I'll get you next." He had to move the panther so she was slung over his shoulder. _just don't think of them as the humans they were, are…_ He thought to himself as he grabbed Batou and held him the same way. He sighed of relief and walked off to the elevator.

Poor Togusa. When he got to the elevator another person was waiting for it to come. Just as he unfortunately thought he got quite an odd look from them. "Uhh, their stuffed animals for my daughter." He said, trying to sound like nothing was wrong. The person kept staring at the two animals slug over his shoulders. They stood in silence until the elevator arrived. Both of them stepped inside the small space, Togusa took up over half the room. They stayed silent until…some foul odor crept up. The person had a extremely disgusted look. "Sorry, Had quite a lunch…" Togusa said, almost choking on the stench. _I know you're laughing at me!_ He thought. Judging by where it started he knew it was doggy Batou. _I wish I could kill you!_ Finally the elevator reached the third floor. "Uh this is my stop.." He shuffled out of the elevator leaving the poor person to stay with the dog flatulence smell. "Enjoying yourself?" He aimed the question at Batou. 31,32, He counted off the numbers on the doors until he got to number 33. He pulled out his keys and unlocked the door.

Almost immediately he was greeted by Ritoru. "DADDY!!" She shouted out of joy. She stopped running towards him as soon as she saw the animals. A confused look came across her face. Togusa didn't have time to clarify the situation before he heard a tapping at the window. He ran over, passing his wife, he threw open the window and the hawk, Saito burst into the house. A scream was heard as he ripped through the house. Togusa quickly ran after him and managed to grab him.

"This was your surprise?" She said, recovering from the shock of having a giant bird fly into her face.

"Mommy! Look! He brought me a kitty!" Ritoru said, tugging at her mother's leg. She pointed to the dark purple panther who was lying spread out on the floor.

"Is that a panther?" She asked confused and surprised. "Why do you have animals?"

"I have to…guard them! I get a raise if I can guard these animals. They belong to the owner of a big…airline enterprise!" He quickly made up a lie about them. He couldn't tell his wife about Section 9 and what happened to his partners.

"KITTY!" Ritoru called as she slowly walked towards Major. Major eyed her with a mildly amused look. Togusa and his wife froze up at the sight. That was their daughter, walking to a big scary panther. Togusa's wife got up and started to move towards them. Ritoru kept walking towards the 'kitty.' She reached out but fell over, her head hit Major's side but she stayed calm, just lying on the floor. Both Togusa and his wife sighed with relief.

"So they can stay right?"

* * *

This one was a bit funner to write, but I didn't take too long on it :( I think the results are ok...maybe...eh, who cares. Ah well, Its up, don't feel like changing it. Oh and thank you to Kyer and An-Twan Star for the reviews.


End file.
